How Counseling Can Help Women Gamblers in Recovery

In addition to attending GA, many women gamblers seek the help of a professional counselor. A well-trained mental health professional, who is experienced in the treatment of problem gambling, can make significant contributions to the growth and recovery of the compulsive gambler.

After an extended time in the throes of compulsive gambling, most women gamblers enter recovery in a "fog." Many women state, "I feel like two different people … I used to be so responsible … and then I started gambling … what happened to me?" Many report that when they look in the mirror they no longer recognize themselves. Women in early recovery often feel depressed, fearful, wounded, and ashamed. They may also feel hurt and anger toward family members and friends who no longer trust them.

A good Counselor provides support, a safe place to open up, and education and knowledge about compulsive gambling, identified as "pathological" gambling by mental health professionals. When appropriate, the Counselor involves family members of the gambler in the counseling process.

From counseling the gambler learns effective recovery strategies, including combating urges and establishing and maintaining abstinence from gambling. During therapy the recovering woman gambler identifies patterns of thinking and behavior that stand in the way of long-term recovery. She receives training in how to prevent a relapse. The client focuses on alternatives to gambling, and she learns new coping skills. Together, the Counselor and the client explore spiritual development.

Gradually, the woman gambler emerges from the fog. She realizes she is not a bad person; she recognizes and accepts that she is a person with a problem—compulsive gambling.

Frequently, women gamblers have suffered traumatic experiences such as abuse or major personal losses, like the death of someone close. Sometimes the feelings resulting from these experiences contribute to the development of a gambling problem. The Counselor assists in identifying unresolved issues, and with the Counselor's help and support the client begins to address and work through painful feelings she has avoided and numbed by gambling.

Many women gamblers have spent so much of their lives taking care of and pleasing others they have lost sight of their own identities. These women ask "who am I?" The Counselor helps the gambler explore the answer to this question and arrive at a clear sense of self-identity. A woman may need to address various issues such as career development or assertiveness in relationships in the process of self-exploration.

By the time the woman gambler completes counseling, she has a strong commitment to her well-being and a clear roadmap for ongoing recovery. She no longer feels confused about who she is. Perhaps she has begun to repair and rebuild relationships damaged by gambling.

In addition to coping well with various stressors in her own life, she frequently chooses to reach out and offer support to others who have a gambling problem. She may assume a leadership role in Gamblers Anonymous or serve as a sponsor to others in the program. By the completion of counseling, the recovering woman gambler experiences stronger feelings of self-esteem and self-worth; her life is balanced—with time for work, relationships and fun.